Wah Bruhs
by Wario the TableMan
Summary: Don't you wanna get your hands on riches galore?


"I've got the fire inside of me…" he exhaled with the sensations of his lightning bolt mustache adourning his glorious grin.

Wario took a great lunge forward and crushed the ground beneath him with his tremendous might. The skies crackled with the radiance of the dawn.

"What is your plan?" asked the purple avenger of hope and grace. He stroked his long, pointed chin with delicate love for justice.

"Waluigi, my brother, I shall reclaim all the gold in the name of our long-gone mentor…" replied Wario with a sigh of regret, yet still maintaining his delectable steez.

It was true. Colonel Sanders, the Wah Bruh's deceased mentor and father figure, had promised nothing but great riches so long as the two warriors fought to uphold the very fabric of the known and unknown universe.

Wario's fist pulsated like a living, breathing hammer. He ran forward and careened his weight into the side of the castle, bashing through with his knuckles of pure steel.

Once inside, Wario and Waluigi licked their lips in wonder and amazement of the abundant loot scattered about the palace. They proceeded to line their pockets with cash.

But the fun times could not last indefinitely. Alas, Bowser's minions arrived moments later wielding an assortment of high-tech weaponry.

"This is bad, Wario!" growled Waluigi and he shoved one last doubloon up his nasal orifice. Now no one would dare to retrieve it from him.

"Stop being a worrywart," snarled Wario. He then ripped off his yellow and purple getup, revealing his pink garlic wunzy. "You shall not apprehend what is rightfully ours!"

"Get those filthy chumps!" shouted the head Goomba. The other Goombas, along with the Shy Guys, Koopas, and Bob-Ombs charged forward with intent to kill. No one stole from the great Lord Bowser.

"It's Wah time!" cried Wario as he landed sick uppercuts and gnarly roundhouse kicks on all of the baddies. He fought like a dancing angel of destruction and Waluigi could only just marvel at the splendour.

Waluigi shook his head and ripped his own outfit off. He donned his Frozone super suit and traversed icy paths in order to chill his enemies to the core.

Wario grabbed one Koopa by the tongue and flailed him around like a deadly nunchuk. Everyone within a five foot radius of the mad garlic man was met with an abrupt and bitter end.

Waluigi got spiffy with it too. He lit the Bob-Omb's fuses with his ice. Ice is the opposite of fire; thus the Bob-Omb's imploded instead of exploded. The implosion caused a rupture in the space-time continuum that destroyed everything in its wake. Waluigi let out a hearty warrior cry and smacked his cheeses.

"Do you really think I'll let you bozos get away with this?" said Bowser as he arrived on scene with twin bazookas mounted to his shell.

"We're not afraid of you, Monsieur Turtley Bits!" said Wario. He and Waluigi then ran forward and tackled the beast. Wario used his incredible aroma to fill Bowser to the gills with the sweet scent of heroism. Meanwhile, Waluigi performed a righteous backflip and kicked Bowser in the right tooth until it fell off.

"No! That is my lucky tooth!" wailed Bowser.

"That's what you deserve, heinous brute!" shouted Wario as he and Waluigi posed and Bowser blew up into a million pieces behind them.

"We have performed a good deed, brother," said Waluigi.

Wario nodded, then gasped. They were captured by giant tubes. Dr. Eggman reared his ugly head out of the shadows, smirking with tenacious evil.

"Brother!" cried Wario. "Why?"

"You two are toast!" laughed the mad doctor. He then hit a switch and Wario and Waluigi were dropped from Bowser's castle into outer space, falling like meteors towards the earth below.

"Thank you for avenging my father," said Bowser Jr. to Eggman.

"No prob, kid!" sneered Eggman.

All of a sudden, the front of the castle blew up and Wario and Waluigi standing in a cloud of smoke.

"No way! I can't believe this!" shouted Eggman.

"Yes, we have returned, Brother…" said Wario. His dramatic aura whisked through the air like fanciful petunia essence. The smoke dissipated, revealing the Wah Bruhs' new forms. They now had new swords, new armour, and new Kanohi masks.

"We are… To-Wah Nuvas!" announced the brothers as they bolted over to Eggman and destroyed all his machinery.

"You're not going to get away with this!" roared Eggman.

"We already have!" said Waluigi as he used his Kanohi to make Eggman incredibly thin.

"Ah yes, Kanohi Weeheh, the Great Mask of Unfattening," observed Bowser Jr.

"You are next, lest ye surrender!" called Wario as he bounded into the air and did serious damage to Junior's Koopa Clown Car. Wario landed a total of thirty up-airs in the span of only three seconds, completely mutilating the vehicle.

"That frame data is whack!" said Donkey Kong, hiding in the corner with a golden banana.

Waluigi saw DK and the fruity looty. "I will kick your booty!" he wahed and then rocketed forward with his jetpack that he stole from Vakama.

"Oh buttz!" cried DK as his flingmakers got obliterated by the mighty will of Colonel Sanders and Mata Nui.

It wasn't over yet though. That's because there were still two more cans to kick: King Dedede's and Gex's.

"Judo chop, baby! Yeah!" screeched Wario as he landed the most powerful rump on Gex's dumb lizard face. Gex was out of commission and no longer had a mission.

"Dat's one Dededeadly dude!" said Dedede as he charged up his jet hammer.

Waluigi teleported behind Dedede and said something in a foreign language. Then Dedede was Dededefeated for good.

Wario and Waluigi, mighty To-Wah Nuva of the Seven Seas, sheathed their blades and grabbed the rest of the riches strewn across the battlefield.

"Shall we return home, Brother?" asked Waluigi, mustache flowing gallantly in the wind.

"We shall, but rest we shall not," said Wario with a long, heartfelt sigh. "For the day nears when we must cross swords with the legions of evildoers yet again."

"A pity, Brother."

"A pity as always…"

**FIN**


End file.
